The Bad Boys Club
by Briskie
Summary: Boys are a pain in the ass, even more so when you put them all in one house. Yaoi. SasuNaru. AU. Things are about to get troublesome. And all Shikamaru wanted to do was have some peace and quiet. Somewhat inspired by The Bad Girls Club.


The Bad Boys Club

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. I don't own The Bad Girls Club. I just pulled the idea for the use of this story.

**WARNING!** Anything goes as always. Be prepared for whatever. I don't hold back. I'm not gonna be stepping on eggshells. This is your warning. Yaoi. Main: SasuNaru. Some side parings too. Probably a decent amount of things that'd be considered illegal. So, if this sounds like your thing give it a shot. Or not.

Chapter One: It's What You'd Call An Invite, Dear.

"Gahh!" I can't believe him!" He strode down the side walk, angrily, "I fell asleep. Geez, he acts like I burnt the whole damn place down!" He clambered up the apartment steps.

"Got fired again, huh, Naruto?" A young boy had his head popped out of his door as the blond walked down the hallway.

"Yeaaaah, Konohamaru! Again! Can you believe it?"

"Haha! What'ya do this time?" The dark haired boy smacked on his gum, grinning.

"I started the place on fire… But! It was just the god forsaken kitchen," He explained.

"Heh, that'll cost the poor guy. I got your mail, boss," He handed him a stack of envelopes.

Naruto groaned, "Shit, more bills, man. Thanks. He needed to do some remodeling anyways."

"I'm sure he did," Konohamaru shut the door, smiling.

Naruto walked to his apartment door, opening it up. He walked into the kitchen slamming his mail down with a tired look. He pulled out a ramen cup from his cabinet, "This sucks ass!" He was placing his ramen into the microwave when he noticed an envelope. It said: The Bad Boys Club. "Alrighty, then…"

"God, it's cold as hell," He hated living in Michigan. He really did. Sasuke sat on the park bench, flipping the opened envelope. He'd been turning it over for the last ten minutes, thinking about what had been inside. A letter, an invitation, to something called The Bad Boys Club. It was located in Los Angeles, California. And it would be a lot warmer than Michigan that was for sure. It was suppose to be a social experiment. It would pay each participant a weekly salary and give them housing, as long as they could record whenever they wanted. He guessed they had picked people with a few quirks and sent out letters to see who they could get.

Right now he was tempted to go, but he wasn't an impulsive person. He had to think this out. He had a brother that lived around L.A. He had lost contact two years ago because his foster parents had restricted any communication with Itachi as soon as Sasuke had turned sixteen. They were a thorn at his side, his foster parents. He was their charity case and that was just another thing among the many things that he hated. He wanted out now. California didn't sound so bad.

Gaara glared at the next person that walked by his alley. He was wrapped up in a ratty coat. He was now the proud owner of nothing. He had run away from his house five months ago. Life was stressful and he really didn't need to deal with the stupid looks people gave him as they walked by. He slowly rose and started his walk to post office. A person there had a curious interest in him. They were nice enough and held onto his mail so he would have no need to return home. Not that he needed his mail, but it was nice to know that something had his name on it.

He opened the door and walked to the front desk, "Hey."

"Oh, Gaara!" A young woman gasped, pulling out a couple of envelopes from under the counter, "Darling, you look awful. Why don't you come by my house tonight? You can clean up, and then we can have some fun, huh?"

He scowled, "No. Thanks for the mail."

"Another time then, Sweetie!" She called out as he left.

Garra really didn't understand women. They were confusing; then again he could say the same for people in general. He glanced at the first item of mail. It was from his old school, informing him that he had failed his first semester since he had not attended. Great, he loved mail from his school. It reminded him of how much of a failure he was. He skipped it and went on, another one from his school. The third caught his interest. A red envelope, he liked red. The letters in black said The Bad Boys Club. He opened it and skimmed through. He blinked letting it sink in. A house and a salary just for letting them record him. Maybe God had just decided that he didn't hate Gaara so much, and he was going to cut him a break. He had to admit this whole thing was spelling out disaster.

"Come on, man! It was nineteen!" Kiba begged into the phone, "Cut a guy some slack!"

He paced around his living room. He should have never made that stupid bet. If his dog hadn't walked in it would have been nineteen. Nineteen girls that he had laid. Akamaru had the worst timing in the world. Now he had to go to this stupid thing in L.A. that just screamed SCAM! He fucking hated making bets, but it was an addiction for him. He loved the feeling of winning and throwing it in someone's face.

"Fine! See if I help you out next time your girlfriend asks where you are, Shino!" He slammed his phone into the floor, "Fuck it! Guess I'm going to The Bad Boys Club."

He woke up and the light from his window hit him, "Damn it," He rolled onto the other side of his bed.

"Oh, Neji! You're awake! Listen, baby, I got to head into work okay?" A woman with short blonde hair ran throughout his room, recovering articles of her clothing, "It was fun. How about Tuesday night?"

"Uhh, Tuesday? I'm busy," He rolled over again, pulling up the covers.

"Hmm, Wednesday, then, lunch?" She pulled up her office skirt and buttoned up her blouse.

He groaned, "Hey, if you see the next one, uhhh, what's her name? Tell her to bring the mail in with her," He pulled his pillow out from under him, grabbing his cell phone. He clicked on the touch screen, "That should work. Lunch on Wednesday seems to be free."

"Great! See you then, Neji!" She walked out quickly.

"Yes, great," He heard the door open up a few minutes later.

"Neji! Oh, I've missed you so much! You have no idea!"

It was one of the loud ones. He had a headache, "Mail?"

"Right here!" She walked up and handed him a large pile of mail. Magazines, envelopes, and a few small boxes, the works.

"Good, and my cigarettes?" He looked up, expectantly.

She handed them over, "Got those too, Neji-chan!"

He hated it when she called him that, but she got him almost anything he asked for. He shouldn't complain he lived decently thanks to the people in his life who adored him, "Thanks… Now get the hell out."

"What? Neji, I scheduled!" She complained.

"Yes. Yes, you did. I have a headache now. I'll make it up to you or something," He offered.

"Really, Neji?" Her eyes shone hopefully.

"Really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure," Women irritated him, but so did men. Actually, people irritated him as a whole.

"Honestly?"

"Out now!" He got up and not so gently dragged her out, slamming the door behind her. As he lay down he lit a cigarette, confronting his mail. He separated everything. He started with the bills pile. There were bills for the apartment he was using, that was the biggest thing he needed to worry about. He could just ask one of his visitors to take care of it. So that was settled. He moved on the gift pile. Ah, the gifts. He didn't ask for most of them. They were given to him as compensation. He wasn't a prostitute or anything. He just fooled around with quite a few people. Some of them really appreciated it and just wanted to thank him for a good time. Who was he to refuse them? He was sent a new watch and a new necklace. Both looked pricey and nice. He smirked as he went through the _everything else_ pile. He flicked past them: Spam. Spam. Spam. More spam. Kohl's magazine. Spam. Playboy. Spam. Spa-

"What the hell?" He picked up the last envelope he dropped into his pool of sheets, "The Bad Boys?" He ripped it open and read over it a few times. During his third time through it his phone rang, "This is Neji," He paused to let the person speak, and then cut them off, "Actually, I believe I'll be leaving here quite soon." He hung up, "L.A. That should be a change," He blew out the cigarette smoke.

"No! That's my shirt! Take it off! Now!" A girly shriek reached across the small house. One of his three sisters was bitching again.

"It's mine! Yours wasn't a small!" That would be the eldest.

"It doesn't matter! Shut up!" Yes, the youngest would try and cure yelling with more yelling.

He yawned and attempted to keep sleeping. He had woken up at nine. Nine. Nine A.M. that meant in the morning. He hadn't been able to fall back asleep since then.

"Hey, Shikamaru! There's mail for you!" His mother called out from the kitchen.

"Ughh!"

"Come get it, Shikamaru! Now!"

"Yes, mother," He groaned out. He dragged himself into the kitchen and sat at the table, grabbing the single envelope that his lovely mother had made him come get. Shikamaru opened it, grudgingly.

"The Bad Boys Club?" His mother spoke up behind him, obviously reading over his shoulder.

"Hmm, Strange."

"That _is_ strange, isn't it?"

He was about to answer when another sisterly dispute broke out, "I need quiet," He trudged back to his bed, closing the door behind him, "The Bad Boys Club, huh?" Just as he was about to fall into a deep sleep, he heard a crash and more screaming, "Ughhh! What a drag," He just wanted to relax.

**A/N:** This is the first chapter or whatever ya wanna call it. Just testing the water with it, so please forgive the somewhat short length. If ya like it and are interested in it continuing then drop me a comment or something of that nature. Hmm, any grammatical errors that are pointed out will be appreciated. Thank you for reading.


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